Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Go Workout, Mom! (And Don’t Feel Bad About It)

Fun Halloween themed Zumba night

There are a lot of things that there is mommy guilt over, but working out should not be one of those things. I’ve had people question me about my gym schedule and how I get away for that much time and I just laugh and say I carve and guard that time out vigilantly and it’s been good for me and my family. These are the reasons why.

First of all they don’t see their dad until he gets home from work. The nights that I am at the gym gives them time with him. It lets them know that their needs can be met by more than just mommy. My kids are used to it, but kids will come up with a lot of things that they want mommy to do and a lot of reasons why you should stay with them. The reasons are often valid and sweet, but at the end of the day, someone else can do those things as just well. I think it’s good for dads to share responsibility for the children and our routine is that when I’m gone, dad does bedtime. It’s a good thing. It’s a great example for my boy and my girl that marriage is teamwork. That includes kid duties, house duties, work, etc..

My biggest reason is that a healthy mom is a happier mom. I had some pretty big bouts of depression in the past. At one point my son was playing “mommy“ and he laid on the couch and wrapped his head in a blanket and that just floored me. Kids pick up on these things. I have a lot more patience and a lot less down days when I get those exercise endorphins. And physically being able to keep up with them and have more energy for family time is no doubt a benefit.

I also want to set a good example for the kids. A lifestyle that includes physical fitness is something that I hope they will follow in their lives. The mental health benefits as well as the physical health benefits of routine exercise are undeniable. My kids have not hit puberty yet, but I have struggled with weight issues since I did and working out has helped so much to keep that in check. Since both of them are so young, I’m not sure what their metabolism and genes will do, but I like to think that the expectation that exercise is part of life will help them with whatever that ends up being.

One of the biggest benefits that I’ve seen, especially when I was doing the stay at home mom thing, was that it gave me an outlet for meeting other adults. I craved adult conversation and just meeting people that also made working out a priority. I’ve made so many friends and people I never would have met otherwise. Many of these people have become good friends and so many fun social opportunities have opened up. Some people prefer to run or do more solo activities, but even if you are not doing group classes like I do, you can still find a supportive community amongst others who do the same.

There are lots of other reasons, but I’m going to end it by with saying that carving out time for myself has allowed me to maintain my personhood. I like being a wife and mom, but I am still a whole person apart from that. That’s another example I want to give the kids. I can still be a partner and parent without completely sacrificing the things that I enjoy. Too many moms make themselves martyrs and think that they’re giving their family a magical experience by doing so when in fact it just leads to a stressed out, thankless serfdom. And what is left when the kids do grow up and move away? Claiming time now and having them acknowledge that mom is also a human being teaches them how to treat people and themselves when they are grown. 


I’d love to hear thoughts from you on this topic as well!

National Pet Day: Meet Syd

Happy National Pet Day! This is the first time this day has been happy for me for awhile. The reason for the joy: Syd. I'm thrilled to announce this new family member and wanted to write about the path it took for him to come to us. 

Photo cred: Leia Anderson

When my fur baby of eighteen years passed away, both Jason and I agreed that we didn't want to jump right into having another dog. About a year ago though, I started missing having a dog and just really felt an emptiness in not having a pet. Jason wasn't quite there though and for many good reasons. Dogs can be expensive and it's another thing to add to our routine, and life with an older dog hadn't been much fun the last few years. 

Last fall, I had really bad doggo blues so I started doing some pet sitting and that helped. I also started just looking into puppies and different breeders. I knew I wanted another Pekingese or similar like a Shih Tzu or Japanese Chin or something small and just a good companion animal. We had a nightmare experience with a rescued Peke that I got from a shelter in Miami so I was very hesitant to do that again. However, the Peke puppies I was finding ranged in price from about $800-$2,500. That's a bit steep- and over and over I kept seeing friends with puppies bemoaning how hard housebreaking is and just how much chaos they bring with them. I also couldn't find a reputable breeder in the state of Florida and I was wary to go after an expensive dog sight unseen. When my buddy Jerry got a fabulous Shih Tzu from a shelter, that really opened me up to the idea of possibly attempting that route again.


I began stalking Petfinder.com and PetTango.com and joined several rescue groups on Facebook. For months I saw nothing that fit my list of "must haves". I knew the only way to get Jason onboard and also just have a good experience for us and the dog was for the adopted animal to match the following criteria: adult 4-5 years old, good with children, under 15 lbs, must have a calm demeanor, must not have health issues, prefer Pekingese but open to other small dogs. It seems like a doable list, but among the rescues, I struck out over and over again. 


Finally in January, Jason began to come around to the idea of adopting another dog and gave his support to my looking. I joined yet another Facebook rescue page, this one dedicated to Pekingeses internationally. The end of February, a cute little white Peke's profile popped up on the page. He hit everything on my list, but was way up in the panhandle, a 7 hour drive. It felt a little like the mishap that had happened before, but this dog's face just wouldn't get out of my head. I had to inquire and it took a few days and many emails but they approved my application and we started planning my trip up.

The picture from the rescue website
Yep, he's coming home with me!

For most of the seven hour ride, he either slept or sat and smiled at me.

Easter weekend, I made the 14 hour round trip up to meet and check out Syd. Jason made me promise that if he seemed sickly or something was just off, that I would walk away. Thankfully, everything seemed legit and I was able to bring Syd home that day. What a delightful Easter morning surprise he was!

The Easter Doggy

To wrap this up, I have been shy of rescues because of what happened with Einstein and the deception on that "rescue"'s part and the sorrow of having to put that dear old fellow down after just two weeks.  My interaction with the SaveUnderdogs.com organization was so very different and positive. Syd is everything we wanted in a pet and more. He is sweetness personified and even cuter than his pictures. I'm so glad we ended up going the rescue route and I would encourage anyone considering a pet to do the same. It may take a little longer and even be a little frustrating, but it is very worth it!

Posting to Post

Hi... Hello... Yes, I still blog... occasionally. I'm just totally in love with Instagram at the moment so my attention has been over there more. If you want to follow me, I'm also TheRiCharmedLife on there. I have to warn you though, I break all the rules of what a good Instagram should be. I post pictures of my kids, my dog, selfies, my food, my art and stuff I'd like to sell. I should really tidy it up, but I don't really care to. Take me or leave me! The crazy thing is I'm almost to five hundred followers, even after the great spam account clean up of January. 

We celebrated our 12th anniversary earlier this month.

In other news- my baby brother is getting married!!! I leave at the crack of dawn (ugh...) Thursday morning to fly up to the big MO for the festivities. It's going to be a very small wedding, but I'm staying almost a whole week, so I'm hoping to see lots of family during that time. And get this, I'm going all by myself. I'm entrusting my darling babies to Jason and God. Hopefully all will go well. I'm not expecting much- alive and in good health works for me.

My bro & I back in the Y2K days...

Hope you all have a lovely spring break. Remember to protect your skin and hydrate! That is all.

Merry Christmas from The Richarmes!

With one week until Christmas, I can definitively say that I will not be sending out Christmas cards this year. I've managed to the last couple years, but this year, I just had too much on my plate to even think about getting a family portrait or even ordering thoughtful cards. I'd rather not send anything than to send a generic card with just a signature and no little note or anything. That's just me though. I do feel a little guilty though as I absolutely love all the cards we've received in the mail this year. So here's my compromise- consider this an online Christmas card from us to you!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!



(Jane was not unhappy, by the way, she just was not going to give up a smile this afternoon. =p)

Christmas Musing


It's the day after Christmas. There's still gift bags and tissue paper piled high on the loveseat. The coffee table is full of Christmas bounty. Jason's back to work. Julian is crawling around the house in his new sleeping bag pretending to be a worm. Jane is sleeping off a crazy jam session in her fancy exersaucer. I'm feeling the usual mixed emotions that come with the holidays. This week between Christmas and New Years is always kind of long and strange, especially with school being out.

We spent Christmas day with my in laws. I'm so lucky to get along with them well. My mother in law made it a relaxed, delicious, beautiful time. We've established a tradition. We open presents at our home and then head over there for breakfast and time with all the family. At some point presents are opened. By noon, everyone heads back to their houses for a Christmas nap. We don't have other family in town so we go back for a nice holiday dinner. There's usually a non-related guest or two that joins us. It's a nice day.


I do miss my family though. My parents are overseas. My brother is in California and my sister and her family live in Texas. We try to talk, or at least text, Christmas day, but I think that only makes us miss each other more! For me, there's always a little undercurrent that something is missing during the holiday season and I know it's being with my family. Hopefully we'll all be able to celebrate together in 2015.

I also went into this Christmas thinking that there would not be many presents under the tree. We've had medical  bills to pay off, stuff with the cars, and just a lot of financial drama this year. Jane is pretty small so I wasn't worried about her being disappointed, but Julian has had some major Christmas hauls in past years. I also love finding perfect gifts for friends and family members so, by my own choice, I normally have quite a few people to shop for. This year, we had to seriously slim down the list. We mostly just bought for our kids, nieces & nephews and our parents. 

Much to my surprise (and gratitude!), we were flooded with gifts from family and friends. The grandparents got the kids' big items: a bike for Julian and a deluxe exersaucer for Jane. I'm pretty sure neither of the children minded that some their gifts from us were not entirely new. Julian even said that this was the best Christmas ever. We all loved hearing that!


Of course, as much as family means and as fun as all the gifting is, the real meaning of Christmas also brings me mixed emotions. I can't express enough thankfulness that I don't have to earn God's acceptance. Jesus made that possible, so celebrating His birth is the highlight of my year. This holiday and the whole Jesus story is about love, forgiveness, acceptance, peace... and it makes me very sad that those are not words that are associated with Christians in general any more. That's another blog post entirely though! 

Halloween on My Mind



Amazing how much fun a simple Happy Meal mask can be! We're just a couple weeks away so Halloween in on my mind a lot. It's cheesy, but we kind of like to have a family theme. We let Juju pick what he wants to be and then plan around that.We were all Green Lanterns last year.  


This year Julian wanted to be a giant squid. We'd also decided to participate in our church's Trunk or Treat so it was an easy choice to do an ocean theme for that. I will be attempting to make some sort of jellyfish costume for myself. Jane has a cute mermaid outfit and Jason is trying to pull together some sort of salty sea captain look. Hope it all comes together! If you'd like to check out the results in person, Trunk or Treat is Wednesday, October 30th, 6:30 pm to 8 pm at Skycrest Community Church.

Fruity People

One of the best things about Florida life is the year round abundance of fresh fruit. With the exception of the citrus that grows in our yard, I never have any idea what's in season. It's a pleasant surprise to see the fruit stands overflowing with the latest crop. Right now I'm enjoying peaches, plums and mangoes the most. This morning's mango was perfectly ripe. I've heard people say mangoes are difficult to skin. I'd have to say it depends on how bad you want it. I've got it down to less than a minute. 

It's kind of odd, but I associate mangoes with my family. I have a childhood memory of visiting with my great aunts in Miami and them peeling mangoes for us kids. My mom gets an allergic reaction to the sap and oils found on the mango skin, but she would still prepare them for my dad when we could get them in New Jersey. Kind of funny that the mango is the national fruit of India, where they are now!
 ..
A ripe mango has a strong smell and gives a little when you squeeze it, but not be mushy. It should have a little red/orange color and if it's hard, it's not going to be very good. These do counter ripen so feel free to let it sit a few days if it's too hard.
I prefer to slice it in long wedges, instead of chunks.

Anticipation

Bad night last night... me, not Jane. I had some sort of stomach ailment that kept me in such pain I didn't get much sleep. I felt better when I woke up, just exhausted. Still I wanted to go to church, so I powered through the morning. I'm so glad I did because an old friend and hockey buddy turned up with his new lady friend. We did lunch with them and some of our other good friends. We were supposed to go to the beach that night, but it was stormy at our house so we ended up skipping it, much to my disappointment.  That disappointment put me in a bad mental state and I really let myself dwell on several other slights and let downs from last week. My thoughts are not in a good place right now. I hope the start of a new week will help me move past it.

Tomorrow is Julian's first day of kindergarten. His uniform is all laid out. His backpack is fully loaded and his lunch bag is full. I can't think of anything else we need to do to prepare. Jason's going into work later so we both get to be part of this big day.

Tomorrow is all about Julian, so here's a Jane picture:

The lighting gives this a mysterious feel!

This dress is a hand-me-down from a sweet cousin. Some people would turn up their noses at "used" baby clothes, but I think they're great. I feel like it's a connection between the babies of close friends and family and part of the village raising a child.

The 4th & Rain & Oyster Ice

July 3rd- Rain, rain and more rain. Hope it's dry for tomorrow's festivities. Julian is so looking forward to some fireworks.


July 4th- Happy 4th of July! We had a lovely day with family & friends.


July 5th- We're still able to eat out with both kids. Jane mostly slept through dinner. It was lovely- despite big brother eating the ice from the oyster station. Gross!

The Year 2012


The Year 2012~

This year was truly a year of ups and downs and learning to accept things as they are. There’s a certain creativity that forms when one has to make things work in less than ideal situations. There’s also a surrender and peace that comes when we take our eyes off what other people have going for them and instead appreciate what’s being worked out in our own life. I’m still working on banishing the insecure or jealous thoughts that still surface from time to time, but after this year of in depth Bible study and more consistent communication with God, I feel better equipped to deal with my thought life. 
I usually start with the highs of the year and then go on to the lows and my resolutions, but I have such great anticipation of 2013, that I want to end on the positives from 2012.

Lows of the Year
Losses- My grandmother passed two days before last Christmas and that set the tone for 2012. During that same week, we suffered yet another miscarriage. Six short months later my Grandpa Weeks joined my grandmother in heaven. Then just before Thanksgiving, Grandpa Yeargain, my last grandparent, passed quite suddenly. Another death- and maybe the most jarring- was that of our friend Alexia. She was our age and we still don’t entirely know what happened. The reality of death and the fleetingness of life weighed on us heavily this year. I definitely suffered from bouts of depression, likely brought on by grief.

Stress- Jason’s job, things breaking in the house, travel expenses, vehicle issues, the election, finances, health issues and the busiest schedule I’ve ever had all contributed to our stress levels being elevated to an all time high. We don’t deal well with stress so it had an affect on our home life and relationships.

National tragedies- Even though Hurricane Sandy did not hit our part of Florida, it did hit the part of New Jersey that I grew up in. I felt a great sense of loss seeing footage of one of the neighborhoods we lived in just decimated. There’s just a sadness that can’t be explained when something happens to places that are hallowed in our memories.
I think our whole country was just devastated by Sandy Hook school killings. As a parent of a young child, it just shook me to the core.

Highs of the Year
St. Augustine- In January, I spent a long weekend in St. Augustine with some of my besties. After our sad Christmas, it was a refreshing and fun time.

School- Julian started K-4 this year. He loves it and is doing quite well.

Volunteering- I was really blessed to be able to work with several wonderful charities this year doing everything from helping with swanky benefits to sorting through garage sale donations. Our church also provided opportunities to help the needy in our community and I loved being a part of those.

Family time- This year Julian and I spent several weeks up in Missouri. While it was not for fun reasons, we did get time with our family members. After my grandfather’s funeral in November, my mom was able to stop in Florida before heading back to India. It was nice to have her here during the holiday season, even if it was a short visit.

Tampa Bay Etsy Crew- Almost 2 years ago I started a little team of Etsy sellers in the Tampa Bay area. This year the team really took off. We’re now almost 850 strong and our leadership has grown from 1 tired lady (me!) to 5 motivated, intelligent and fun gals . We’ve had great monthly meet ups and even a couple big events. While it’s been good for business, it’s been even better to develop friendships within the creative community.

Georgia- After event season ended and before the holiday sale season really got busy, I needed break. When Jason’s parents invited us up to Georgia for Thanksgiving, we happily accepted. Julian loves the country and we were able to really relax and just enjoy a slower pace for a bit. On our way home we spent a couple days with good friends and had a wonderful time with them.

Baby Jane- A little over a year ago, I’d been in contact with the genetics team at USF regarding the many miscarriages we’d had. After testing of the DNA of our lost babies, they’d found a chromosomal issue that was not compatible with life. Since we have a healthy boy and all the miscarriages tested were female, they told us the abnormality was in the female chromosomes and that we could only hope to have another boy. That made me a little sad, but I accepted it and we moved on and started looking at other options.
There’d been so much loss already in the year that I really didn’t think I could cope emotionally with another miscarriage. We decided to try to prevent a pregnancy until we felt God’s leading to adopt or just have one child or try again. Early October, we were shocked to find out I was pregnant. We were cautiously optimistic (and remain so!) and just thankful when every appointment was positive and the baby seemed to be thriving. Last week we had an ultrasound, and much to our surprise (and the doctor’s too), we saw that our baby is a GIRL! I can’t view that as less than miraculous. So now I’m just trying to keep healthy and we’re trying to wrap our heads around having a little girl. She’s expected a week or so earlier than her June 1st due date and we intend to name her Jane Marie. All praise be to God!

 Resolutions  
I’m actually not going to make any this year. We have a lot on our plates for 2013 without heaping lofty goals on top of it all. It’s going to be a bit of a balancing act, especially financially, but I know God will guide us and keep us like He always has. I start this year with an optimism I haven’t felt in a long time. Happy New Year!

Dinner Done

Saturday, September 22, 2012~

All the silver containers and baggies are Dinner Done meals.


   Do you Dinner Done? If you are a family of 2-3, you should! It's a meal prep place. You assemble entrees, freeze them at home and then they're ready to cook when you need them. It's the best way to break up meal monotony. Since there are only 3 of us, we are able to split the meals. It makes it very affordable. It might be a little on the expensive side if you're not dividing them. Anyway, I always feel relief when I have a freezer full of Dinner Done meals. Bonus, there's even one cooking in the oven right now! Hope the apple-walnut stuffed pork rolls are as good as they look. =) 

Happy Birthday, Puppy!

September 21st~ Happy birthday, Drago! My little buddy turns 12 approximately today. When I got him I was still finishing school. He was the cutest fluff of a puppy ever. It was love at first sight. He's been my furkid ever since. It hasn't always been smooth sailing; he's had terrible allergies from age 4+. He's been twice attacked by German Shepherds. He's also had some pretty significant eye injuries. He's had to weather a baby, then grabby toddler for a brother. Still, at this very moment, we've got the allergies better controlled, his eyes are healed, and his fur is thicker than it's been in years. Things are going well for the old boy. I remember people saying we'd get rid of him when we had a kid. Boy, were they wrong! 

Drago enjoying a birthday treat

Safety

Tuesday, September 11th~

I'm watching the strangest thing on a local tv station. It appears to be a modern dance troupe performing a They Might Be Giants tribute. They have on sheer white outfits. You can totally see everyone's underwear through them. Seems weird that that would be intentional, but I can't image them missing it. Anyway...

Today is the 11th anniversary of 9/11. I still don't know what to say about that day. I still feel a little shock if I allow myself to really dwell on it. My heart will always go out to the families of the victims. Makes me thankful for the safety my family experiences on a daily basis.








God Provides

Sunday, September 2, 2012~
    
   My most most lucrative business venture is my Etsy shop. I have to  be able to photograph my jewelry and vintage pieces so I can list them. The photos have to be clear and detailed, so it's vital that I have a decent camera. Last year, prior to heading to Asia, I got a little Nikon Coolpix from a pawn store. It was brand new and I felt that is was sufficient. You may have read that it broke this weekend. It's a lens error. I investigated having it repaired and that was going to cost almost what I paid for the camera. I admit to feeling some despair over that.

   I have quite a few photographer friends so I went on Facebook and just asked if anyone had a good camera they'd graduated from that they'd be willing to sell. Then the phone rang.... my brother-in-law had seen my post. My sister-in-law is a very good photographer and she'd been given an amazing camera for Christmas. Her old, but good, one was just sitting in a closet, so they offered it to me. They won't let me give them any money for it. I feel a little weird about that. I'm going to offer to let my SIL pick a piece of jewelry from my shop and, of course, I'll babysit anytime. My BIL loves food, so I'm also thinking I can make a nice dinner for them too.
    So once again God provides for me. It's only September, but in my journal, I already have an entire page just filled with how our needs have been met this year- most of the time in very unexpected ways! I know a lot of people find belief in God to be ignorance, but I look at just the last 9 months and how we've been crazy blessed and my heart just knows that God deserves all the credit and thanks.
   Here's a few more Etsy listings I just posted!

Tyn Llan Celtic box from Wales

Old metal sake decanter

Trimont ware pedestal bowl
 

Taking One for the Team

July 31, 2012~






   Quaker Steak & Lube tonight for Jason's birthday dinner! His birthday is tomorrow, but it was easiest to do the family dinner tonight.  Jason didn't realize that Tuesdays there are all-you-can-eat wing buffet nights. He was stoked! Personally, wings are not my favorite food. I don't like having to rend meat off bones when I eat and I hate getting my hands dirty. Still, QS&L was my idea- I know how much J likes it. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team!

Book Burning

July 18th~

Believe it or not, this is the after photo. There was just stuff piled and stacked on all the shelves.

   Shall I lead in with another... "cleaning and sorting continues"? 'Cause it has. Whilst cleaning out the bookshelf, I stumbled upon a ton of magazines dating from 1983-1996. Joy and I have had fun looking through them. The hair, the clothes, the home decor, the celebrity marriages... what a cheesy time! 
I have to say I did enjoy adding certain kinds of books to the burn pile: the crazy diet books, the get-rich-quick books, the rock-and-roll-will-make-you-kill-your-family books, the eminent apocalypse books... Now I am a book lover so I probably kept more than I should have, but that really couldn't be helped! Also the family photos had to stay. Can you spot me and Jason's tiny engagement portrait? =p

Here

Thursday, July 12th~

Julian enjoying a nice jog up one of grandpa's runways


   It's a sad occasion, but it's still good to be with family. My Aunt Patricia arrived this morning followed by my brother and his girlfriend, Lori. My sister and niece and nephew have been here since Monday. There's lots to do before the funeral tomorrow. Everyone is just so tired. Well, everyone but the kiddos... =p

Happy 4th!

from Wednesday, July 4th~


   Happy 4th of July! Had family lunch for the nephew's birthday, dinner with friends and then fireworks downtown. It was Julian's first firework show. He liked it pretty well, but found lots of other distractions that were equally amusing.

Heritage

Monday, June 18th~


   We went through so many pictures today! We were thrilled to find photos and links to our Scottish heritage. I never knew much about my great, great grandmother, but in so many photos, she's doing silly things and always smiling. I don't think she cared much about being age appropriate! You can tell she had a huge personality and loved life. I feel pleased to have her as an ancestor. Our family has very few truly serious photos- some are downright hilarious. I like that heritage of fun and playfulness! To add to the family happiness of the day, my parents have decided to give me the ring my grandmother left me. I didn't think I was going to get it any time soon, so I am thrilled! It's a nice ring, but even more important is that my grandmother wore it all the time so it's a meaningful tie to her. 

   Jonathan came over today too. He brought Blueberry with him, which was an unexpected treat. She's a great dog!

Father's Day

from June 17, 2012~

(Taken with Juju's camera, so it's a bit grainier than usual!)

Church and then Father's Day lunch at the oft-discussed Chinese Mexican Burrito. It actually wasn't too bad, for Forsyth anyway! Grandpa could barely stay awake today. He is still enjoying chocolates though, so Dad picked him up a nice box of Russell Stover's. Julian and I are missing Jason. We did get to talk to him for a bit, which was nice.

As I was wrapping up Julian's bedtime ritual, we got an invite to go up the hill for popcorn at Uncle Stanley's. Julian had a great time playing with Benjamin. Benjamin is 12, but doesn't seem to mind entertaining Juju. I so enjoyed just being with family and talking and hanging out. We're lucky to live near Jason's family, but I do miss having my kin nearby. There's just an odd sense of humor we Weeks' have.

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