Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

The Year 2012


The Year 2012~

This year was truly a year of ups and downs and learning to accept things as they are. There’s a certain creativity that forms when one has to make things work in less than ideal situations. There’s also a surrender and peace that comes when we take our eyes off what other people have going for them and instead appreciate what’s being worked out in our own life. I’m still working on banishing the insecure or jealous thoughts that still surface from time to time, but after this year of in depth Bible study and more consistent communication with God, I feel better equipped to deal with my thought life. 
I usually start with the highs of the year and then go on to the lows and my resolutions, but I have such great anticipation of 2013, that I want to end on the positives from 2012.

Lows of the Year
Losses- My grandmother passed two days before last Christmas and that set the tone for 2012. During that same week, we suffered yet another miscarriage. Six short months later my Grandpa Weeks joined my grandmother in heaven. Then just before Thanksgiving, Grandpa Yeargain, my last grandparent, passed quite suddenly. Another death- and maybe the most jarring- was that of our friend Alexia. She was our age and we still don’t entirely know what happened. The reality of death and the fleetingness of life weighed on us heavily this year. I definitely suffered from bouts of depression, likely brought on by grief.

Stress- Jason’s job, things breaking in the house, travel expenses, vehicle issues, the election, finances, health issues and the busiest schedule I’ve ever had all contributed to our stress levels being elevated to an all time high. We don’t deal well with stress so it had an affect on our home life and relationships.

National tragedies- Even though Hurricane Sandy did not hit our part of Florida, it did hit the part of New Jersey that I grew up in. I felt a great sense of loss seeing footage of one of the neighborhoods we lived in just decimated. There’s just a sadness that can’t be explained when something happens to places that are hallowed in our memories.
I think our whole country was just devastated by Sandy Hook school killings. As a parent of a young child, it just shook me to the core.

Highs of the Year
St. Augustine- In January, I spent a long weekend in St. Augustine with some of my besties. After our sad Christmas, it was a refreshing and fun time.

School- Julian started K-4 this year. He loves it and is doing quite well.

Volunteering- I was really blessed to be able to work with several wonderful charities this year doing everything from helping with swanky benefits to sorting through garage sale donations. Our church also provided opportunities to help the needy in our community and I loved being a part of those.

Family time- This year Julian and I spent several weeks up in Missouri. While it was not for fun reasons, we did get time with our family members. After my grandfather’s funeral in November, my mom was able to stop in Florida before heading back to India. It was nice to have her here during the holiday season, even if it was a short visit.

Tampa Bay Etsy Crew- Almost 2 years ago I started a little team of Etsy sellers in the Tampa Bay area. This year the team really took off. We’re now almost 850 strong and our leadership has grown from 1 tired lady (me!) to 5 motivated, intelligent and fun gals . We’ve had great monthly meet ups and even a couple big events. While it’s been good for business, it’s been even better to develop friendships within the creative community.

Georgia- After event season ended and before the holiday sale season really got busy, I needed break. When Jason’s parents invited us up to Georgia for Thanksgiving, we happily accepted. Julian loves the country and we were able to really relax and just enjoy a slower pace for a bit. On our way home we spent a couple days with good friends and had a wonderful time with them.

Baby Jane- A little over a year ago, I’d been in contact with the genetics team at USF regarding the many miscarriages we’d had. After testing of the DNA of our lost babies, they’d found a chromosomal issue that was not compatible with life. Since we have a healthy boy and all the miscarriages tested were female, they told us the abnormality was in the female chromosomes and that we could only hope to have another boy. That made me a little sad, but I accepted it and we moved on and started looking at other options.
There’d been so much loss already in the year that I really didn’t think I could cope emotionally with another miscarriage. We decided to try to prevent a pregnancy until we felt God’s leading to adopt or just have one child or try again. Early October, we were shocked to find out I was pregnant. We were cautiously optimistic (and remain so!) and just thankful when every appointment was positive and the baby seemed to be thriving. Last week we had an ultrasound, and much to our surprise (and the doctor’s too), we saw that our baby is a GIRL! I can’t view that as less than miraculous. So now I’m just trying to keep healthy and we’re trying to wrap our heads around having a little girl. She’s expected a week or so earlier than her June 1st due date and we intend to name her Jane Marie. All praise be to God!

 Resolutions  
I’m actually not going to make any this year. We have a lot on our plates for 2013 without heaping lofty goals on top of it all. It’s going to be a bit of a balancing act, especially financially, but I know God will guide us and keep us like He always has. I start this year with an optimism I haven’t felt in a long time. Happy New Year!

Peace

Tuesday, September 18~ 


Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

 


God Provides

Sunday, September 2, 2012~
    
   My most most lucrative business venture is my Etsy shop. I have to  be able to photograph my jewelry and vintage pieces so I can list them. The photos have to be clear and detailed, so it's vital that I have a decent camera. Last year, prior to heading to Asia, I got a little Nikon Coolpix from a pawn store. It was brand new and I felt that is was sufficient. You may have read that it broke this weekend. It's a lens error. I investigated having it repaired and that was going to cost almost what I paid for the camera. I admit to feeling some despair over that.

   I have quite a few photographer friends so I went on Facebook and just asked if anyone had a good camera they'd graduated from that they'd be willing to sell. Then the phone rang.... my brother-in-law had seen my post. My sister-in-law is a very good photographer and she'd been given an amazing camera for Christmas. Her old, but good, one was just sitting in a closet, so they offered it to me. They won't let me give them any money for it. I feel a little weird about that. I'm going to offer to let my SIL pick a piece of jewelry from my shop and, of course, I'll babysit anytime. My BIL loves food, so I'm also thinking I can make a nice dinner for them too.
    So once again God provides for me. It's only September, but in my journal, I already have an entire page just filled with how our needs have been met this year- most of the time in very unexpected ways! I know a lot of people find belief in God to be ignorance, but I look at just the last 9 months and how we've been crazy blessed and my heart just knows that God deserves all the credit and thanks.
   Here's a few more Etsy listings I just posted!

Tyn Llan Celtic box from Wales

Old metal sake decanter

Trimont ware pedestal bowl
 

Frustrated or Happy

July 24, 2012~
Tried to photograph some of the jewelry I brought home, but it was just too dark inside and too rainy outside to get clear photos. Boo.....


   While it's still hot and dark, today is a little more restful. I'm almost caught up with getting my Etsy shops back in order. The house has been tided some. I finished a jewelry commission last night. Drago's got a check up in the morning.  My friend Faith called yesterday and we had a nice conversation. I'm feeling almost normal again. 
When the light broke, I have to admit I felt defeated and just at the end of my rope. I think God sent me a thought. It was that I had a choice to either get angry about how rundown I think the house is getting or I can relax and have fun picking out some new fixtures. I chose the later. It's funny because one of the first things we said we'd do to the house was replace the gaudy living room light and fan. And then it kind of grew on us. And then the light pull broke and we had to unscrew the light bulbs every night to turn it off. And then it crackled and popped and died entirely yesterday. 
I absolutely love the light I found and I also ordered a light/fan for Julian's room. His fan has been broken for years. I got a good deal and we have 6 months, interest-free to pay them off anyway. I feel happy, not frustrated.

We give our loved ones back to God

Sunday, July 15, 2012~


  

We give our loved ones
back to God.
And just as He first gave
them to us
and did not lose them
in the giving,
so we have not lost them
in returning them to Him …
for life is eternal,
love is immortal,
death is only a horizon …
and a horizon is nothing
but the limit
of our earthly sight.

~Helen Steiner Rice


Truly a great bubble beard


Life is Forever! Death is a Dream!

Friday, July 13, 2012~



Life is Forever!  Death is a Dream!

If we did not go to sleep at night
We'd never awaken to see the light,
 And the joy of watching a new day break
Or meeting the dawn by some quiet lake
Would never be ours unless we slept
 With God and all His angels kept
A vigil through this "little death"
That's over with the morning's breath-
And death, too, is a time of sleeping,
For those who die are in God's keeping
And there's a "sunrise" for each soul,
For life, not death is God's promised goal-
 So trust God's promise and doubt Him never
 For only through death can man live forever!
-Helen Steiner Rice

Drained

Thursday, July 5th~

Drago will be 13 in September


   I feel like I need to write something spiritual or at least Etsy related. I got nothing. I'm feeling like a drained snow globe these days. Well, here's what I'm thinking- lately I have no interest in doing any studies or reading cutesy little devotionals. It's just been a lot of praying and trusting that things are going to work out and that one day this fog will lift. I think it's okay for there to be times like this. 

Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Serving

from Thursday, May 17, 2012~


  
For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do. -Hebrews 6:10
 
   Without a doubt my favorite place to volunteer is the Bay Area Pregnancy Center. I use to be very political in my opinions on abortion. I guess I still am, but I'm far less outspoken than I use to be. I think our best case is made with with science and logic, not browbeating. I use my vote to support the cause. I support this Center with my volunteer hours because they are on the true front lines of this issue. They give women reasons and options not to have abortions. They council and love the ones who made that choice and are scarred and hurting from it. They give women training and parenting classes. They give necessities to struggling moms. That's where the rubber meets the road.

R & R

Sunday, April 29th~



   We all need days to just relax. Thanks to my in-laws, who took Julian for the night, Jason and I got to sleep in a little before heading to service. We had a leisurely lunch with them and then just relaxed the afternoon away. Our community group meets in the evening so we wrapped up the day with that. It was much needed. God knew what He was doing when he gave us a day of rest!

Genesis 2:2
On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work.

Matthew 11:28–30 
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Psalm 37:7
Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

Hebrews 4:9-11
There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall through following the same example of disobedience.

Timing

Monday, April 23rd~

3 amigos

   Might have overdone it this morning, but Julian had a lovely time. I ended up sun burnt with an achy ureter. I have so much to do today- it's terrible timing to feel this bad. I just hope this passes soon. I have special friends to see tonight and my Etsy team meet up tomorrow evening.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us...." Psalm 62:8-10


We Don't Change People

from Monday, March 27th~




   I'm still sorting my thoughts out from the day. There's just a reoccurring theme to the day and it's basically that you can't make people care about things they just don't. People can say something a million times and be very sincere and even be passionate when speaking about it. But when the time comes to sacrifice for it or even choose it instead of something else, there's nothing, no action behind the words. And you can't get angry about that because we all have very different priorities and interests and one persons aren't universally superior. If you are a Christian though, we have been given a top priority and that's be about the things of God. That shouldn't be clouded by hobbies or our mood, but even what that looks like varies person to person. But let's not say things we think we should or that we think people want us to say if it's not really in our hearts to do. And do let it go if someone doesn't respond to something important to us. There's just no point in getting hung up on it.


But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment. -James 5:12
 

Love Not Retorts

from March 18, 2012~



   God is love. Christians are God's ambassadors. Why is it so hard for Christians to love? He loved us before we ever loved Him (I John 4:19). I find it very hard to love those who make fun of my faith or have a total opposite life view. It's a conditional love and, thus, an ungodly love. We (me), as the Church and bride of Christ, need to get real and learn to love people as they are, where they are. Our love should be the first message on our lips- not our politics, not our organizations. It's not natural for us to be that way- especially when we're told we're ignorant for believing in God or that all religious people are hypocrites. We get angry and defensive when we hear that, but we need to just take it to God. He's the only one that can change our hearts to love people who insult and belittle us. I have a challenge for myself and maybe you'll take it up too. Next time we have unloving thoughts, let's pray for that person and ask God to help us to love them.

Bat Girl

Friday, February 24, 2012~


   I love bats. Seems peculiar I'm sure, but it's one of my favorite eccentricities. I always wear this necklace. People frequently comment and ask about it. Here's the why as best as I can explain it:

   When I was in high school our attic got a little brown myotis bat colony. They had babies and sometimes the babies would fall on the floor. Naturally, my siblings and I would scoop them up and hold them. (We are not a skittish lot.) The babies were adorable and the adults were lovely and gentle. I enjoyed their presence. The more I liked the bats and started learning about them,  the more I started noticing that most people find them creepy and gross. It made me sad that such great animals were so misunderstood. 

   When I went away to my very strict Christian college, I was frequently told how weird and odd I was. I know I'm a little unusual, but I guess because I had such supportive amazing friends in high school, I didn't think that was a bad thing or really anything to even take note of. (Still love those fab gals!) Anyway, the administration even labeled me as someone of questionable character. I don't deny that may have been true at the time, but you'd think in a Christian setting, the proper response would have been to encourage me and come along side me, not to alienate and make me feel like a reject. That's not to say I didn't have good friends in college- I did, but even with most of them, I felt like I had to suppress some of my quirkiness, and even then I still got the "you're weird" comments. I made off campus friends too, but to them my faith made me quite peculiar. All of this made me feel very misunderstood and that led me to identify with my batty friends somehow. 

   I did turn some spiritual corners in my college years, but that's another story that has more to do with the camp I worked at than the college I went to. When I graduated, I got a bat tattoo to celebrate. It marks the beginning of a fun phase of life and also commemorates all the hard work I put in to get through school. It was also a statement that other people's narrow mindedness can't shake my personal walk with God or my understanding of who I am.

   Now onto the necklace (after all that!)... I gave up my career when Julian was born. I was happy to do it because I believe there is no replacement for a mother in a child's life. I didn't want to miss any of his special moments and only having an hour or two a day with him wasn't going to cut it. Like most women who decide to stay at home, there is a shift in identity. I got a bit of a martyr complex and then felt smothered and then felt guilty. It was this weird sleep deprived spiral and I was just asking God for something, even though I couldn't define what it was I needed.

   After Julian had weened, I decided to take a weekend trip up to see those lovely high school friends. It was my first time away from him and I was feeling guilty and a little unsure. I had a rental car and a few hours to kill before my best friend expected me so I decided to head to the Brandywine River Museum. I'd been there in high school and remembered loving all the Wyeth and Pyle galleries. I was shocked to discover they were hosting an Edward Gorey exhibit. [I'm not going to go into Gorey's art and things I like and don't like about him, but I will say I love the man's dark sense of humor. The expressions in his illustrations are painfully (and humorously) on point.] Gorey is one of my all time favorite artists and not many people I know have much of an appreciation for his work. 

   Having that exact art show going on at the time I just happened to be there by myself when I could really enjoy it blew my mind. I basically had the place to myself. I just felt this flood of feelings like God was giving me this as a gift of encouragement and permission to still embrace my artistic side and that it was okay to take time to still be Julie. I bought my little bat pendant there. I wear it all the time because to me it's a reminder that God made me unique and loves this batty little person just trying to love Him the best she knows how. His acceptance is really the only acceptance that matters. Maybe that meaning is a bit of a stretch to you, but that's why it's for me. I still occasionally get told that I'm unusual, but now I think to myself, Thank goodness, "normal" sounds like a prison sentence!

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