Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No



Have a friend that you like so much but you’re never quite sure how you stand with them? It’s the sort of thing that keeps you up late at night. It’s the sort of thing that makes you read into the smallest of gestures. It’s a thing that amplifies your doubts about who you are as a person and your worthiness of being their friend. But it’s not the sort of thing that you can express to that friend without sounding needy or like a junior higher asking Do you like me? Check yes or no. And so you  hang back, maybe, or you do everything you can to express the depth of your devotion to them. Maybe you talk about it to other friends. They may offer reassurance but deep down you still doubt. It’s amazing how long these “complicated“ relationships can draw out. 

At some point though, you have to leave the decision up to them. You have to stop letting your insecurities control your thoughts and actions. Instead give your time and thoughts to improving your own life and being good to those who you know are there for you. 

I think of this mental picture often when friendships are struggling, or just coming together, or falling apart. It’s the difference of trying to hold water in your hand with a clenched fist and a cupped hand. In a fist, it just slides through your fingers and is gone. An open, cupped hand will hold the water steady and gently. In times of abundance- we’ll call it rain- a closed hand receives nothing while an open hand may overflow with fullness. Friendship is the same- squeeze it too much and it’s gone and in trying to to hold on, we close ourselves to good things in other relationships. Be more open and, not only do we keep our friendships, but they become more- more fulfilling, deeper, more secure.


So back to that person that you so desire to be friends with- no matter how bad you want that friendship, if it doesn’t come about organically, you will never be at peace with where you stand with them. Be friendly, be present, but don’t be obsessed! Let them get to know you over time and let it play out naturally- and be at peace knowing that whatever happens, you are worthy of good friends and the right ones will want and include you and nurture you. Yes, that is what you deserve!

Tampa Bay Etsy Crew's 2014 Craft Party




Can't believe this is just a few days away! I'm looking forward to it so much. I love getting to meet my Crew members and see their wares. One of my favorite roles as a TBEC team member is matching up sellers and customers so these events let me check out a lot of stuff in person. It makes me feel more confident when I give a recommendation.


I also love meeting up with the friends I've already made in the Crew. When I started TBEC, I never, ever would have dreamed it would be something that would so impact my life, but I've made real friends and learned so much about leadership and event planning and marketing and much, much more.


For more info or if you have questions about the Craft Party, click HERE.

Christmas Musing


It's the day after Christmas. There's still gift bags and tissue paper piled high on the loveseat. The coffee table is full of Christmas bounty. Jason's back to work. Julian is crawling around the house in his new sleeping bag pretending to be a worm. Jane is sleeping off a crazy jam session in her fancy exersaucer. I'm feeling the usual mixed emotions that come with the holidays. This week between Christmas and New Years is always kind of long and strange, especially with school being out.

We spent Christmas day with my in laws. I'm so lucky to get along with them well. My mother in law made it a relaxed, delicious, beautiful time. We've established a tradition. We open presents at our home and then head over there for breakfast and time with all the family. At some point presents are opened. By noon, everyone heads back to their houses for a Christmas nap. We don't have other family in town so we go back for a nice holiday dinner. There's usually a non-related guest or two that joins us. It's a nice day.


I do miss my family though. My parents are overseas. My brother is in California and my sister and her family live in Texas. We try to talk, or at least text, Christmas day, but I think that only makes us miss each other more! For me, there's always a little undercurrent that something is missing during the holiday season and I know it's being with my family. Hopefully we'll all be able to celebrate together in 2015.

I also went into this Christmas thinking that there would not be many presents under the tree. We've had medical  bills to pay off, stuff with the cars, and just a lot of financial drama this year. Jane is pretty small so I wasn't worried about her being disappointed, but Julian has had some major Christmas hauls in past years. I also love finding perfect gifts for friends and family members so, by my own choice, I normally have quite a few people to shop for. This year, we had to seriously slim down the list. We mostly just bought for our kids, nieces & nephews and our parents. 

Much to my surprise (and gratitude!), we were flooded with gifts from family and friends. The grandparents got the kids' big items: a bike for Julian and a deluxe exersaucer for Jane. I'm pretty sure neither of the children minded that some their gifts from us were not entirely new. Julian even said that this was the best Christmas ever. We all loved hearing that!


Of course, as much as family means and as fun as all the gifting is, the real meaning of Christmas also brings me mixed emotions. I can't express enough thankfulness that I don't have to earn God's acceptance. Jesus made that possible, so celebrating His birth is the highlight of my year. This holiday and the whole Jesus story is about love, forgiveness, acceptance, peace... and it makes me very sad that those are not words that are associated with Christians in general any more. That's another blog post entirely though! 

In Doubt

 

When in doubt, post a baby picture! This week has not been great. To add to it, I was headachey all yesterday. We still went out with friends and had a pretty nice evening celebrating a birthday. Of course, we had to leave half way through to get the kiddos. Jane has me on a short leash these days.

Today, I'm out of coffee and just feeling poor. The day started out well with a  playgroup, but then we had to go to a thing at Julian's school. It was not a fun experience. I don't like being cut in front of and I really don't like being talked down to. 

When I think about my life right now, there are so many good things that I feel guilty at the things that get me down. This week, for all it's busyness and social happenings, left me longing for both alone time and a friend.



The 4th & Rain & Oyster Ice

July 3rd- Rain, rain and more rain. Hope it's dry for tomorrow's festivities. Julian is so looking forward to some fireworks.


July 4th- Happy 4th of July! We had a lovely day with family & friends.


July 5th- We're still able to eat out with both kids. Jane mostly slept through dinner. It was lovely- despite big brother eating the ice from the oyster station. Gross!

Bummed Out


(I don't always find her funny, but there are moments when a Natalie Dee comic totally captures my mood!)

It's all good though- this week was fun and I know Julian had a great Spring Break. I just get tripped up in expectations of consideration. Can I trademark the phrase "expectations of consideration"? That is seriously my biggest source of disappointment, distrust, and dismay (to round things out). It's true you can't please all the people all the time but when it's always the same person/people who have to concede/compromise, that's not right either. 

The Year 2012


The Year 2012~

This year was truly a year of ups and downs and learning to accept things as they are. There’s a certain creativity that forms when one has to make things work in less than ideal situations. There’s also a surrender and peace that comes when we take our eyes off what other people have going for them and instead appreciate what’s being worked out in our own life. I’m still working on banishing the insecure or jealous thoughts that still surface from time to time, but after this year of in depth Bible study and more consistent communication with God, I feel better equipped to deal with my thought life. 
I usually start with the highs of the year and then go on to the lows and my resolutions, but I have such great anticipation of 2013, that I want to end on the positives from 2012.

Lows of the Year
Losses- My grandmother passed two days before last Christmas and that set the tone for 2012. During that same week, we suffered yet another miscarriage. Six short months later my Grandpa Weeks joined my grandmother in heaven. Then just before Thanksgiving, Grandpa Yeargain, my last grandparent, passed quite suddenly. Another death- and maybe the most jarring- was that of our friend Alexia. She was our age and we still don’t entirely know what happened. The reality of death and the fleetingness of life weighed on us heavily this year. I definitely suffered from bouts of depression, likely brought on by grief.

Stress- Jason’s job, things breaking in the house, travel expenses, vehicle issues, the election, finances, health issues and the busiest schedule I’ve ever had all contributed to our stress levels being elevated to an all time high. We don’t deal well with stress so it had an affect on our home life and relationships.

National tragedies- Even though Hurricane Sandy did not hit our part of Florida, it did hit the part of New Jersey that I grew up in. I felt a great sense of loss seeing footage of one of the neighborhoods we lived in just decimated. There’s just a sadness that can’t be explained when something happens to places that are hallowed in our memories.
I think our whole country was just devastated by Sandy Hook school killings. As a parent of a young child, it just shook me to the core.

Highs of the Year
St. Augustine- In January, I spent a long weekend in St. Augustine with some of my besties. After our sad Christmas, it was a refreshing and fun time.

School- Julian started K-4 this year. He loves it and is doing quite well.

Volunteering- I was really blessed to be able to work with several wonderful charities this year doing everything from helping with swanky benefits to sorting through garage sale donations. Our church also provided opportunities to help the needy in our community and I loved being a part of those.

Family time- This year Julian and I spent several weeks up in Missouri. While it was not for fun reasons, we did get time with our family members. After my grandfather’s funeral in November, my mom was able to stop in Florida before heading back to India. It was nice to have her here during the holiday season, even if it was a short visit.

Tampa Bay Etsy Crew- Almost 2 years ago I started a little team of Etsy sellers in the Tampa Bay area. This year the team really took off. We’re now almost 850 strong and our leadership has grown from 1 tired lady (me!) to 5 motivated, intelligent and fun gals . We’ve had great monthly meet ups and even a couple big events. While it’s been good for business, it’s been even better to develop friendships within the creative community.

Georgia- After event season ended and before the holiday sale season really got busy, I needed break. When Jason’s parents invited us up to Georgia for Thanksgiving, we happily accepted. Julian loves the country and we were able to really relax and just enjoy a slower pace for a bit. On our way home we spent a couple days with good friends and had a wonderful time with them.

Baby Jane- A little over a year ago, I’d been in contact with the genetics team at USF regarding the many miscarriages we’d had. After testing of the DNA of our lost babies, they’d found a chromosomal issue that was not compatible with life. Since we have a healthy boy and all the miscarriages tested were female, they told us the abnormality was in the female chromosomes and that we could only hope to have another boy. That made me a little sad, but I accepted it and we moved on and started looking at other options.
There’d been so much loss already in the year that I really didn’t think I could cope emotionally with another miscarriage. We decided to try to prevent a pregnancy until we felt God’s leading to adopt or just have one child or try again. Early October, we were shocked to find out I was pregnant. We were cautiously optimistic (and remain so!) and just thankful when every appointment was positive and the baby seemed to be thriving. Last week we had an ultrasound, and much to our surprise (and the doctor’s too), we saw that our baby is a GIRL! I can’t view that as less than miraculous. So now I’m just trying to keep healthy and we’re trying to wrap our heads around having a little girl. She’s expected a week or so earlier than her June 1st due date and we intend to name her Jane Marie. All praise be to God!

 Resolutions  
I’m actually not going to make any this year. We have a lot on our plates for 2013 without heaping lofty goals on top of it all. It’s going to be a bit of a balancing act, especially financially, but I know God will guide us and keep us like He always has. I start this year with an optimism I haven’t felt in a long time. Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving

I've abandoned my photo-of-the-Day quest. Life just got too crazy and now I'm 2 months behind, so I'm allowing myself to let it go. I'll backtrack a little since I didn't post in November at all. We went up to the country house in north Georgia for Thanksgiving. I just needed a break after a non-stop schedule and all the events I ran. It was a great trip and it really helped me regain some energy and focus before coming home to the Christmas selling and craft show season. The weekend after Thanksgiving, instead of shopping, we drove over to Greenville and spent a few days with some good friends. We took the kids to the zoo and then got a sitter for the evening. We had an extraordinary dinner at American Grocery, a farm-to-table style restaurant, and then went and saw Million Dollar Quartet- The Musical. Here's some photos:



Julian invented a game with the random stuff he found in the shed.


He kept changing the rules so much of it was just running around.


Thanksgiving day


At the zoo, Julian's "new best friends"


Baby giraffe!


One of my dearestfavorite amigas and I after the show.


Me & hubby

Old Friends Adieu!

Wednesday, September 12~

Listed some old friends today:

 My turquoise foo dog has been with me for years. It's always bothered me that I only had one though. These come in pairs and should be displayed as such. She is lovely and I know someone else would be more than happy to take this single mom home. (Yes- she's a female! They're shown with a cub often. Her's happens to be gold!)
 This old fellow dates from occupied Japan. His little cart is hinged and opens. He was designed to hold cigarettes and we don't keep those around so we'll let him run off to a new owner!

This was actually an estate sale find. It's a Prevost botanical print. You can't believe how pretty this is- the closer you get, the lovelier. I initially got it thinking the pink would work in my bathroom, but then I ended up getting a paisley shower curtain and going a different direction. A steamy bathroom wouldn't be a good spot for this anyway...

PS- Click on any of the photos to see the Etsy listing.

A Good Thursday

Thursday, September 6, 2012~

   Feeling better today. The day started rough, I won't lie, but after Julian got over his snit this morning, things vastly improved. My Thursday morning group at church started up again. I'm part of a "guinea pig" group this time around. We're doing Warren Wiersbe's study on the book of John and that's not unusual. The part that's different is that it's a small group that requires each member to set a weekly personal goal and a goal that requires us to go above and beyond our usual habits. We're also committing to monthly service projects for our community. There's a high level of accountability within the group. I've mentioned before that I'm pretty burnt out on long book studies so this is a great fit for where I am and where my heart has always been.
   I left as soon as we'd finished so I could get up to Tampa. I do love seeing my former co-workers at Family First. It's been 4 years since I worked there and I still think about them and the programs all the time. I don't know when I'll go back to work full time, but it's a little dream of mine to be able to work there again. Anyway, I had lunch with my dear friend Amy. We had such encouraging conversation. It really made my week!
   Tomorrow I've got a fun morning and afternoon planned with another good friend. We're headed to St. Pete. I think Jason is craving Delco's so we may end up there too. What a good way to finish this week of ups and downs! 

Getting a better feel for the new camera. I'm excited to have a lot to list on eBay this weekend!



Labor Day!

September 3, 2012~ Yep, Labor Day. Pool, food, friends, other stuff, rest. Should have the new-to-me camera some time tomorrow!

Cute little monkey stand
Glass equestrian box
Italian Florentine gesso and gold vintage box

Vintage candlewick and embroidered Double Wedding Ring pattern pillow

God Provides

Sunday, September 2, 2012~
    
   My most most lucrative business venture is my Etsy shop. I have to  be able to photograph my jewelry and vintage pieces so I can list them. The photos have to be clear and detailed, so it's vital that I have a decent camera. Last year, prior to heading to Asia, I got a little Nikon Coolpix from a pawn store. It was brand new and I felt that is was sufficient. You may have read that it broke this weekend. It's a lens error. I investigated having it repaired and that was going to cost almost what I paid for the camera. I admit to feeling some despair over that.

   I have quite a few photographer friends so I went on Facebook and just asked if anyone had a good camera they'd graduated from that they'd be willing to sell. Then the phone rang.... my brother-in-law had seen my post. My sister-in-law is a very good photographer and she'd been given an amazing camera for Christmas. Her old, but good, one was just sitting in a closet, so they offered it to me. They won't let me give them any money for it. I feel a little weird about that. I'm going to offer to let my SIL pick a piece of jewelry from my shop and, of course, I'll babysit anytime. My BIL loves food, so I'm also thinking I can make a nice dinner for them too.
    So once again God provides for me. It's only September, but in my journal, I already have an entire page just filled with how our needs have been met this year- most of the time in very unexpected ways! I know a lot of people find belief in God to be ignorance, but I look at just the last 9 months and how we've been crazy blessed and my heart just knows that God deserves all the credit and thanks.
   Here's a few more Etsy listings I just posted!

Tyn Llan Celtic box from Wales

Old metal sake decanter

Trimont ware pedestal bowl
 

A Good Day

July 26, 2012~



   My fans came in early! They weren't expected until August 3rd! A generous electrician friend came over and put up the big one and is coming back tomorrow to tackle the one in Julian's room. Jason stayed home and assisted with the fan and put Juju to bed so I could get out. It was very nice to catch up with a couple friends over coffee. I needed it bad- the company just as bad as the mocha coconut frap!

Happy 4th!

from Wednesday, July 4th~


   Happy 4th of July! Had family lunch for the nephew's birthday, dinner with friends and then fireworks downtown. It was Julian's first firework show. He liked it pretty well, but found lots of other distractions that were equally amusing.

TBEC Pre-Party Prep Night

Wednesday, June 28, 2012~

Makin' friends, learning about the letter L
So that's the picture of the day.^ ^

Last night our TBEC group got together at Tampa Upcycle to work on the decorations for the big party in August. It was fun. Someone donated a ton of old orange grove posters and advertisements. The maps for our original idea never materialized, so it just seemed like our theme came to us. Anyway, it's always good to meet fellow Etsians, especially Crew members!









Mother's Day

Sunday, May 13th~

Add caption


Mother's Day! We kept busy. I still missed my mom though! Although it's a day to honor moms, it's not a day that moms to get any sort of break. That would be a true holiday! I can't complain though. We had a fun family lunch and then spent the evening poolside with friends. The guys grilled so that was nice. The pool was good, but I'm craving the beach. I think I need to get there this week. I'm a water girl- always have been, always will be. I think if I could spend a Mother's Day any way I wanted to, it would have to end with a sunset on the beach. 

Anyway, being a mom is great and I'm very, very happy for the opportunity. Being a parent is very eye-opening. You have to wise up and get your priorities straight. You understand love on such a different level. It changes you in many ways. Even after all the changes, you find yourself constantly wondering if you're doing things right and well!

Fight Club

from Wednesday, April 2, 2012~






Met up with some friends at Future Flipz this morning. Julian had an amazing time, of course. There's one little fellow, who was there, that he tends to get into brawls with. This kid is just aggressive towards Juju. We usually are there before them when this particular group gets together. Every time this child makes a beeline for Juju and tried to either take whatever he's playing with or he just starts shoving him. If you know anything about The Juj, you know he is not going to take any sort of bullying. So he will shove the kid and things escalate and they usually have to be separated.


We teach Julian not to hit and to walk away if a younger kid or a girl is bugging him. He's still occasionally will push or lay on a kid that harasses him, but he's pretty good about not hitting anymore. I've observed that he does not act out unless he is provoked. He's not a bully. That said, I don't want him to be bullied and I don't want to squelch that natural "fight to protect" instinct he seems to have. It's just hard knowing what's appropriate and what crosses the line.


Anyway, this morning, they were best buds running around. I don't condone it, but last time Julian clocked this other kid in the head pretty good. Maybe that finally got it through to the kid that Julian's not going to submit to him and now he's worthy of being a friend. That's weird, but seems like it's the case.
 

Timing

Monday, April 23rd~

3 amigos

   Might have overdone it this morning, but Julian had a lovely time. I ended up sun burnt with an achy ureter. I have so much to do today- it's terrible timing to feel this bad. I just hope this passes soon. I have special friends to see tonight and my Etsy team meet up tomorrow evening.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us...." Psalm 62:8-10


Musical Theater


Friday, April 13th~





   Juju's Easter egg is hatching a pretty awesome turtle. Going hard all day...but got to see our cute newborn buddy, Micah, and ended the evening laughing with friends so it's all good. Just a couple more days until we see Wicked! Now I just have to figure out how to get to Newsies. I so hope that show ends up going on tour.


Time Warp

from March 31, 2012~

from a vintage Korean embroidery piece on my wall

Spent the evening with my former apartment mate and college friend and her husband. We were all pretty active in our church's singles group back in the day. Lots of reminiscing! Funny how some short seasons seem long in our minds while other more lengthy times just flit away. I'm always thankful for friendships that span the years.

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