Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No
Have a friend that you like so much but you’re never quite sure how you stand with them? It’s the sort of thing that keeps you up late at night. It’s the sort of thing that makes you read into the smallest of gestures. It’s a thing that amplifies your doubts about who you are as a person and your worthiness of being their friend. But it’s not the sort of thing that you can express to that friend without sounding needy or like a junior higher asking Do you like me? Check yes or no. And so you hang back, maybe, or you do everything you can to express the depth of your devotion to them. Maybe you talk about it to other friends. They may offer reassurance but deep down you still doubt. It’s amazing how long these “complicated“ relationships can draw out.
At some point though, you have to leave the decision up to them. You have to stop letting your insecurities control your thoughts and actions. Instead give your time and thoughts to improving your own life and being good to those who you know are there for you.
I think of this mental picture often when friendships are struggling, or just coming together, or falling apart. It’s the difference of trying to hold water in your hand with a clenched fist and a cupped hand. In a fist, it just slides through your fingers and is gone. An open, cupped hand will hold the water steady and gently. In times of abundance- we’ll call it rain- a closed hand receives nothing while an open hand may overflow with fullness. Friendship is the same- squeeze it too much and it’s gone and in trying to to hold on, we close ourselves to good things in other relationships. Be more open and, not only do we keep our friendships, but they become more- more fulfilling, deeper, more secure.
So back to that person that you so desire to be friends with- no matter how bad you want that friendship, if it doesn’t come about organically, you will never be at peace with where you stand with them. Be friendly, be present, but don’t be obsessed! Let them get to know you over time and let it play out naturally- and be at peace knowing that whatever happens, you are worthy of good friends and the right ones will want and include you and nurture you. Yes, that is what you deserve!
