Fatty Fat Fat

Where to start... about 6 months after I had Julian, I revamped things. I was working out daily and doing yoga, body sculpting, step class, zumba, running, etc. I was eating well and had my thyroid medication pretty balanced. I lost about 40 lbs. It was great. I felt good and was even doing 5k runs (big deal for this top heavy, heat sensitive, asthmatic!). 

It's not hard to trace where I fell off the wagon. Enter miscarriage one, two, three, four... I stopped all exercise but walking out of fear that it might be contributing to the issue. I was on and off my thyroid meds with each pregnancy. I felt depressed and couldn't even get my head to a place where I could prepare ahead and plan healthy food choices. The weight crept back on. 

When I did have a successful pregnancy with our baby Jane, it was far from an easy one. I had gestational diabetes that was just out of control no matter what diet they put me on. I couldn't gain weight so that was a concern too. I had to eat all the time and stuff that I felt I had no choice in. There wasn't a single craving that I was able to fulfill. It was awful.

So now Jane is here and the diabetes is gone. I'm not even in the pre-diabetic range. And I'm making up for all the things I couldn't have during my pregnancy! This is not a good thing, but I've allowed it because I am breastfeeding. I like to use that as an excuse. My gym scholarship is active so I have no reason why I haven't been as active there. It's just been hard to get myself together and actually go.

I did lose all my pregnancy weight in the 8 weeks after Jane was born. I hadn't been able to gain that much anyway so what I did gain came off easily. However, this morning I weighed at the gym and I've gained back a couple of the pounds I'd lost. That was a wake up call. Apparently I can't eat pizza every weekend and lose weight. =p 

So now what? One of the things that really helped me before is tracking my food and exercise. It forces me to come face to face with the calories in what I eat. I need that. It also provides some accountability. I've reactivated my Daily Plate account on Livestrong. I'm not waiting until Monday to start, so, starting tomorrow, I will be posting on there. If you'd like to join me, the part of the site I use is free. I'd like as many friends as possible to come alongside me in this journey. I'll be following pre-diabetic menu recommendations (as I'm predisposed to it genetically and having had it gestationally).

As much as I hate it, I guess we need a before picture. =e This one is pretty unflattering and really that's why I've chosen it.


Glan Deas said...

Yes!!! It is very hard to get back your shape. I think it is very cool that you are able to do that.

Kopi Luwak

Christiana said...

I know you want to lose and I am all.for that for your health and the future. But you are a beautiful woman inside and out, don't forget that!

Gypsy Thread said...

I want to say, "Why are you publicly shaming yourself like that? You're gorgeous!"... except that I feel the same way and don't have baby weight or thyroid issues to deal with. So yeah, write it out. Stick it up on the fridge. Do what you have to do. I'll be cheering you on. You're welcome to drop off any cookies you're purging from your kitchen over at my place. ;)

RandomGoodsVintage said...

We are our own worst enemies. We need to learn to be happy with ourselves. That being said, I am just as guilty of looking at myself in the mirror and saying, "blah!"

Elle said...

Best of luck to you with your weight and health goals!

Elle said...
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